Honing Intuition as Coaches: Emotional Intelligence from the Tao te Ching ?

Awareness is ongoing. It flows on and on, so keep the doorway open. I’ve noticed when I think, “I know the answer,” I shut down my own awareness – conversely, when am humbly uncertain, I learn more. Shoshin is a term from Japanese Zen Buddhism about this, usually translated “beginner’s mind.” I first learned about it when I read The Tao of Pooh (Benjamin Hoff) about 40 years ago. 

In the Emotional Intelligence Coach Certification, we have a lot of participants with a ton of experience in related work; already certified coaches, qualified psychologists, long-time mentors, or people who’ve done coaching without being certified. And there are often people who are quite new to coaching who feel intimidated by all the experience. Over and over I’ve had this conversation: Being less experienced might make you a better coach. Expertise gets in the way of coaching. If you ‘know,’ you’re not coaching.

Pay attention to the neuroscience of attention: To focus is to ignore. Our brains work through networks, as some networks become more active, they take more energy. To get the energy, the brain suppresses other networks. Most of us have learned to focus our attention on quantitative, external data such as studying a math problem. We learned to suppress our discomfort, suppress other interests, suppress our self-awareness in order to do that well.

In a pioneering paper, Mary Helen Immordino Yang et al found that the ‘task positive network’ (active, for example, in studying a math problem) is anti-correlated with the ‘default state network’ (used, for example, in compassion). When you focus on one type of data, you ignore another. The implications for education are profound, read this article for a practical guide.

In terms of the line from the Tao te Ching, J.H. McDonald’s translation of this line is a bit different, “It is like a vapor, barely seen but always present.” 

The point for me is that awareness is something to sense gently. Soften your view and FEEL. Focusing means ignoring, so ease off the gas and coast. Less efforting – tap into the ‘lazy coach approach.’ This requires unlearning the old ways of focusing, and stepping out of the trap of urgency to be more present AND more open.

We’re conditioned to look outside ourselves. Literally billions of dollars a year go into sending us the message that we need to chase after success & happiness by acquiring… that what we long for in a product or other external commodity. The commodification of self-worth is magnified by social media and the outsourcing of our self-regard: we’re bombarded with not-so-subtle messages that we’re less-than, and our value is measured in external validation (research). How many ‘likes’ does it take to feel whole?

In this cacophony, is it possible to hear the subtle whispers of intuition? 

For me, the big comfort of this chapter of the Tao to Ching is that I have this capacity inside. Akin to ‘Wisdom Lives Within’ from Six Seconds’ Learning Philosophy, consider: What if you DO have the capacity already? What if you DO have this awareness? What if you DO have an inner-knowing? How does it feel to shift the challenge from “I need to sharpen my intuition,” to: “I can tune into this wisdom”?

As I’ve shared before, I used to be afraid of emotions. They seemed so unpredictable and confusing. First I became curious, then started to value them. Now I’m learning to trust that emotions are a voice of wisdom. One of the most powerful sources of support for this journey? Being in community with others who are on a similar journey. This is why I believe that the ‘network’ part of Six Seconds’ name is central to our mission of strengthening the world’s emotional intelligence… and why I’m constantly encouraging you to join and engage in the abundant opportunities to connect with fellow emotional intelligence allies.