Emotional Insights for Leaders: Frustration and How to Harness It for Good

In this installment of the Emotional Literacy Series, we turn our spotlight onto an emotion we often prefer to avoid yet holds a significant place in our emotional repertoire and leadership journey: FRUSTRATION.

By Svetlana Suvorova – LinkedIn

Our mantra remains the same: emotions are not just welcome at work; they are essential. As leaders, recognizing and understanding our emotional landscape fuels our self-awareness and fosters empathy, building resilient teams that drive performance.

Emotion Spotlight – FRUSTRATION

“Anger expressed in a healthy and positive way means that we channel emotional anger towards resolution not attack.” – Byron R. Pulsifer

While often viewed negatively, frustration is a normal emotional response to obstacles that stand in the way of our goals. It may be uncomfortable, but it provides critical feedback about our needs, expectations, and the changes required to achieve our objectives.

Frustration is not a feeling we should shy away from but one we can learn to understand and channel effectively to drive growth, both personally and professionally.

Understanding FRUSTRATION

Definition: Frustration is the feeling of being upset or annoyed due to an inability to change or achieve something.

Message: “There’s an obstacle in my path; something needs to change to overcome it.”

Feeling: Frustration often manifests as tension, restlessness, or agitation in the body, typically felt in the chest, hands, or jaw.

Intensity Spectrum: Annoyance<Frustration<Anger. Annoyance, a milder form of discomfort, is at one end of the spectrum, with frustration in the middle and anger, a stronger and more intense reaction to continued frustration, at the other end.

FRUSTRATION in Leadership

As a leader, your reaction to frustration can transform obstacles into opportunities for progress and innovation. Echoing Byron R. Pulsifer’s words, channeling frustration in a healthy way can lead us toward resolution rather than confrontation. Your approach to frustration also influences your team’s response to challenges. Directing frustration towards solution-seeking rather than conflict fuels problem-solving, spurs innovation, and propels progression.

Useful when:

1. Identifying bottlenecks or roadblocks
2. Prompting problem-solving efforts
3. Motivating change and action
4. Driving innovation

Not useful when:

1. Building rapport
2. Maintaining team harmony
3. Communicating decisions or feedback
4. Promoting collaboration and cooperation

? When frustration seems overwhelming, ask yourself, “What can this emotion teach me?” and “How can I channel this feeling into positive action?”

Communication tips:

• Acknowledge and validate the feelings of frustration within your team.
• Promote an open discussion about existing obstacles and challenges.
• Maintain a solution-oriented approach; avoid personal criticisms and focus solely on resolving the problem at hand.
• Nurture a growth mindset with statements like, “What’s the learning opportunity here?” or “How can we solve this together?”
• Encourage resilience with phrases like “Let’s keep trying” or “We’ll find a solution.”

? Weekly Exercise:

For this week’s exercise, let’s turn frustration into a catalyst for improvement. Find a situation causing friction within your team, then apply the communication strategies shared above to facilitate a discussion around the issue. Aim to collaboratively identify and implement a resolution.

By recognizing and effectively managing frustration, you can transform this challenging emotion into a powerful tool for change and improvement.

We look forward to hearing your experiences and thoughts as you embrace the power of frustration in your leadership journey.

This post originally appeared as part of The EQ Edge newsletter on LinkedIn. You can subscribe here.

Svetlana Suvorova, a Certified EQ Coach, merges her corporate leadership experience with a passion for emotional intelligence, empowering leaders to leverage their emotions for success. Living in five countries has ignited her love for people and languages. Fluent in the language of emotions, she provides fresh insights into understanding and channeling them effectively. She’s leading the charge to redefine emotions in the workplace, offering bespoke coaching, in-depth training, and impactful keynotes. Stay in tune with her vision through her weekly newsletter, The EQ Edge.