What’s it mean to “practice” emotional intelligence as a coach and why does it matter?

EQ Coaching: Knowing vs Practicing Emotional Intelligence 🌱

by Joshua Freedman, MCC

 

Back in the day, I was a licensed contractor; Patty & I paid for a lot of our college by remodeling kitchens and bathrooms during the summers. There was a little problem though: I loved tools, and ended up buying LOTS of really fabulous tools from a super-cool store called Whole Earth, and I’d carefully place them in our truck for easy access.

As a coach: What are the tools, and where is the truck?

In the EQ Coach Certification, we focus, over and over, on “self as coach.” The coauthor of the program, Marilynn Jorgensen, is a strong advocate of this notion: The essence of coaching isn’t the part “above the waterline,” it’s the hidden heart of the iceberg that makes it an iceberg. So rather than a recipe or a template, great coaching is about who we are on the inside.

While Six Seconds’ publishes an incredible array of tools (the “Whole Earth coach tool shop”), and I highly recommend you buy lots of them 😁 here’s a deeper truth: The most important tools are inside you… and ‘you are the truck.’ You learn to access the tools with the practice of emotional intelligence.

When we started Six Seconds, 25 years ago, Anabel Jensen & I were talking about our purpose, and she said, approximately: “if people become more emotionally intelligent but don’t actually USE it, we failed.” Dan Goleman had just written his 1995 book that featured our Self-Science methodology, and people kept asking: how do you put this into action?

So, we decided to create Six Seconds to answer that question… and when we created the Six Seconds Model, we wanted to capture three essential ideas:

Active Verbs

EQ is something to USE, not just to know (so in the model, you’ll see verbs!)

Ongoing Iteration

It’s an ongoing process, not a 1-and-done (that’s why it’s a circle)

Inside Out

All change starts on the inside (yourself)

The practice is embedded in the model — 3 steps to tune in and apply… over and over. Tune in, assess, connect. Know, Choose, Give Yourself.

This led us to create the world’s first “emotional intelligence practitioner certification.” Practitioner, per Etymonline: “one who practices (as distinguished from one who theorizes), from Late Latin practicus ‘fit for action.’”

Then, we learned that it’s hard to practice by yourself! So we added “network” to our name, and committed to build a global community where everyone interested could give and get support to practice.

I believe the EQ Coach Certification is so profoundly life-changing because of this combination: Powerful practice that starts on the inside, practical tools to make it concrete, purposeful community to bring out our best.

To make this practice more accessible, a few years ago we took the first part of that life-changing EQ Practitioner and made Unlocking EQ. Now you can get started with this practice quickly and at a low cost — several times per month!

25 years later… a LOT more people aware, and many many of us committed to the practice of emotional intelligence. How about you?

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How does this land for you as a coach? Please share a comment below!

And, if you have questions you’d like me to explore in a future 🌱 EQ Coaching newsletter and/or video, please post in the comments, or feel free to reach out to me via our contact form.

… and don’t forget to Click here to subscribe to the EQ Coach Newsletter.

For more on EQ and Coaching 🌱, I recommend:

Introduction to EQ & Coaching

Effective Coaching with Emotional Intelligence

How to use coaching methods to unleash energy

What Most People Get Wrong About Joy (do you?)

Three powerful questions for contracting

A 3-D Picture: The 3 Questions That Make Coaching Work

Joshua Freedman
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